I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
