Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
