just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
