can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
