whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Randomize
