the new term for farting is butt boxing.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Randomize
