its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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