I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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