I like my sex mixed with concussions.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
