Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
