I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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