Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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