why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
