dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Acid is not a monday night drug
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
