The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
