yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
