Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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