The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
