wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
She's not a foreskin expert like you
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Randomize
