before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
