yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
