Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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