Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
