Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
