You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
