thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
i out mim tonsoeep
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