It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
