how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
