From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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