Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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