Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
