gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
