what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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