I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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