Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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