By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
