Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
