everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Randomize
