Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
