We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
