uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
