Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
time to smoke my breakfast
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
