I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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