Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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