I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
