Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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