just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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