I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
