3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
HIV tests are more positive than that guy
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
