there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
